Broadway Revamps It's Songbooks!

BROADWAY REVAMPS IT'S SONGBOOKS!

Broadway. The Great White Way. The center of the performing arts universe. Broadway is many things - open is not one of them. That being said, there are ways for people under quarantine to enjoy some Broadway magic at home.

Legendary British composer Andrew Lloyd Webber is making performances of select musicals available to watch, free of charge, on YouTube every Friday for the next seven weeks. He calls the initiative, “The Show Must Go On.” 
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Thankfully, that isn't the only show going on. That’s right, you may not have heard the news, but… Broadway… Is… Back!

With the coronavirus outbreak continuing to be a major talking point for people, Broadway has decided to address the outbreak through the songbooks of their most beloved musicals. The stagehands are fast at work and the orchestra is tuning up their instruments. You don’t want to miss these limited engagements of completely revamped classic shows with a Pandemic twist!

Some of the revamped shows include:
Phantom of the Office - Deformed since birth, a bitter man known only as the Phantom lives in the sewers underneath the Chrysler Building. He falls in love with an obscure accounts-payable representative named Diane, who never got the company-wide email to work from home. Truly gripping! 

Don’t Come From Away – The heartwarming tale of the day when airplanes from around the world emergency landed in a small Newfoundland town and a bunch of Canadians were unwilling to come out and help them. 

Little Shop of Hoarders – A hapless florist shop worker raises a plant that uncontrollably feeds on toilet paper rolls and Lysol spray. Hilarity ensues.

Book of Boredom - A house full of Jehovah’s Witnesses kill time until they can go door to door and talk about the Good Book again.

Don’t Kiss Me Kate – The hilarious behind-the-scenes tale of a couple working hard to produce a Shakespearean classic while keeping 6 feet distance at all times. While the kisses have been replaced with fist bumps, the on-stage chemistry has stayed the same.

Dear Evan Hand Sanitizer – A high school teenager struggles with anxiety disorder and desperately yearns for rinse-free, anti-bacterial hand sanitizer and real friends. His therapist recommends that he starts writing encouraging letters to himself daily as part of his therapy, but suggests he wash his hands immediately after using any pens.
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Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Lab Coat – Supplies may be low nationwide, but Joseph is fully covered. A lab technician dreamer looks for a COVID-19 vaccine in a lab coat of many colors that his father, Joseph, gave him to piss off his brothers. 

Annie Get Your Toilet Paper - The famous tale of sharpshooter Annie Oakley and how she saved the town from a wild west toilet paper shortage. 

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way To The Pharmacy - A guy from Rome named Pseudolus attempts to win his freedom by helping his young master woo the girl next door with N95 masks and canned goods.
 
Stay In-side Story – The Jets and the Sharks square off and sing at each other from the safety of their own living rooms.

A Covid Line - Broadway stars tell their tales of hard work, sacrifice and years of training to finally make it to Broadway - only to have their shows cancelled and their dreams crushed. This one’s great for the whole family.

NO RENT – 6 friends on unemployment exercise their squatter’s rights and drink a lot of wine. Everyone is singing and dancing, but no one is writing a check. 

Hello, Delivery – In 1890s New York, a widowed matchmaker named Dolly switches from delivering wives to delivering groceries to quarantined families. Singing, dancing, price gouging - this one truly has it all.

As previews are now rolling out, critics are already raving about the revamp. Broadwayworld.com writes, “Two Freshly Washed Thumbs UP!” and USA Today exclaimed, “Well worth breaking quarantine for.” So head over to TKTS.com and get those tickets you’ve been eyeing. It may not be the same as your last trip to the theater... It might be even better.

Special thanks to the hilarious Michael Palmer for his creative genius and help with this post.